The Hidden Harm of Toxic Positivity in Schools: What Teachers Can Do Instead

Anvika Reddy
May 22
4 min read

You’ve heard it. You’ve probably said it too:

“You’ll be fine.”

“Focus on the bright side.”

“It’s not that bad.”

These phrases are meant to comfort but they can also quietly shut down real emotion.

Statements like these are meant to encourage perseverance and optimism are often made with good intentions, but when positivity becomes the only acceptable emotional response, it can create a harmful classroom culture. In such an environment, students may feel ashamed of their struggles, pressure themselves to suppress "negative" emotions, and link their worth to constant cheerfulness.

This isn't just misguided. It’s a form of emotional minimisation known as toxic positivity, or more precisely, unrealistic optimism and emotional invalidation. And it can be particularly damaging in learning environments where emotional safety is key to cognitive growth.

What is toxic positivity, really?

Toxic positivity is the constant pressure to stay positive, even in tough or painful situations. It’s like putting a smiley-face sticker over a cracked window. The problem is still there, it’s just hidden from view.

It overlooks the complexity of emotions and often prevents people from dealing with difficulties in a genuine way.

This form of excessive optimism:

Dismisses difficult emotions like sadness, fear, disappointment, and grief
Discourages vulnerability, reinforcing the idea that struggle equals weakness
Creates internal shame, particularly in young people, who may feel they’re failing by not “bouncing back” fast enough.

A teacher encouraging a sad student to stay positive, symbolising toxic positivity in schools. Highlights the importance of emotional validation in education.

Why it matters in the classroom

As a teacher, you set the emotional tone of your classroom, whether you mean to or not.

That tone has consequences.

How emotional dismissiveness manifests in schools

Toxic positivity isn’t always obvious. In fact, it’s often masked as “encouragement.” Consider the following common responses to student stress:

“There’s no reason to be upset, it’s just a test.”
“Try to look on the bright side!”
“Other people have it worse.”

While these may seem comforting on the surface, what students actually hear is:

“My feelings aren’t valid.”
“I’m overreacting.”
“I should be grateful, not sad.”

Over time, this discourages emotional honesty, reduces help-seeking behaviour, and can damage the trust students place in adults.

What happens when we validate, instead of dismiss?

Creating an emotionally intelligent classroom is not about letting emotions rule behaviour. It’s about recognising emotions as part of learning, and teaching students how to understand and respond to them constructively.

The impact of emotionally safe classrooms

When students feel emotionally supported, research shows that they:

Experience higher academic engagement and motivation
Develop stronger resilience and coping skills
Form more meaningful relationships with peers and teachers
Are more likely to seek help when struggling

An emotionally safe space doesn’t remove discomfort; it acknowledges it as a natural part of life and a foundation of growth.

As Dr Marc Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, states:

“The ability to reach, understand, and respond to emotions in ourselves and other people is a crucial factor in predicting our health, happiness, and professional success.”

Five practical ways to avoid performative positivity in your classroom

Replacing emotional minimisation with meaningful validation doesn’t require dramatic shifts, it requires consistent effort.

1. Acknowledge, don’t override

If a student says they’re anxious, stressed, or sad, resist the urge to immediately cheer them up. Say:

“That makes sense.”

“I hear you.”

“It’s okay to feel like that right now.”

This tells them their experience matters.

2. Model emotional honesty

You don’t need to share personal crises, but small stories go a long way:

“I was nervous before the staff meeting too.”

“I felt overwhelmed last week and had to take a break.”

This normalises emotion as part of adult and student life alike.

3. Offer support, not solutions

Instead of jumping to “fix” the emotion, offer presence:

“I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Would you like to take a moment before we continue?”

It’s less about solving and more about being a steady, non-judgemental presence.

4. Use an emotional check-in routine

Start class with a two-minute activity:

One-word emotional check-ins

Traffic light system (Red: struggling, Yellow: meh, Green: good)

Quick journaling prompt: “Today I feel... because...”

Classroom whiteboard with an emotional check-in list including feelings like happy, frustrated, tired, curious, and anxious—promoting emotional literacy in schools.

5. Ditch cliche in favour of presence

Replace:

“You’ll get over it” → with → “This seems really difficult. Want to walk through it together?”

“Just think positive” → with → “It’s okay to feel disappointed. That shows you care.”

Language matters more than you think.

Supporting teacher well-being

Teachers are often expected to “just push through” during burnout and stay positive, but this toxic positivity overlooks their real stress. While supporting students, teachers' own well-being is often ignored.

To truly help, schools need to create spaces where teachers can be honest about their struggles. Prioritizing mental health, encouraging self-care, and building support systems can make a big difference.

When teachers feel supported, they build stronger connections with students and help create a healthier, more effective school environment for everyone.

Conclusion: Real support means listening, not just smiling

Optimism is important, but when being positive means ignoring real feelings, we lose the chance to connect, grow, and show true resilience. Teaching isn’t just about sharing information; it’s about creating spaces where students can be themselves, even with their struggles. That’s where real learning happens.